Tension (Part 4)

January 21st, 2010
Thursday
Chennai, India

Nervously, Philip put on a T-shirt and adjusted his jeans. Meenakshi had finally called. She had asked him to meet her at Burma Bazaar in George Town at 5:30 pm. He had been confused and alarmed by the abrupt, impatient tone of her voice. Something was definitely wrong, that much he knew. He put on his shoes and made his way downstairs and out of the door. Into his garage, onto his motorbike and away.

It was close to peak hour and traffic was heavy. He waited patiently and slowly crawled along toward George Town. He reached at 5:20 pm, dismounted his bike and made his way to their usual meeting place. Burma Bazaar was situated in one of the less affluent areas in Chennai and was a thriving market for smuggled electronic goods, CDs, watches and perfumes. The shops were mere stalls lined one against another, on either side of the road. Competition among shop-keepers was fierce because of the similarity of goods on sale, and the quoted price of an item was usually about three times what it was finally sold for. On the left side of the road, between one line of shops and another, was a slum area. This is where Philip and Meenakshi had met often – the poor nature of the neighbourhood reduced the likelihood of being spotted by anybody they knew. Also, the hustle and bustle of the market allowed them to pass unnoticed, except by the children in the slum.

Philip walked down the first line of shops and turned left. Meenakshi was already there, leaning against a wall covered with garish film posters. She saw him, acknowleged him with a faint smile and continued looking down at the ground. Her posture, her expression, her movements, all spoke of resignation. Philip went up to her and she moved away imperceptibly. “Thanks for coming”, she said, continuing to look down at the ground. Philip didn’t know how to respond. “I wanted to tell you something important”, she continued, her voice quivering. “On Saturday, my father has arranged for a guy to come and meet me, with a view toward getting married. Father would dearly like me to marry him. So, I probably will. If not him, I will marry some other Brahmin boy. I can’t go against my father’s wishes.”, she paused for breath and tried to look up at Philip. For a brief instant, their eyes met, “Philip, we can’t see each other again”.

She turned and walked away. Philip saw her flagging down an auto-rickshaw, getting in and going away. He vividly felt a rush of blood to his head, throbbing at his temples. For a minute, he leant against the wall, then he sat down on a rock. A child from the slum was playing just next to him. A dog was eating some garbage to his left. Slowly, excrutiatingly, he tried to make sense of what he had just heard.

“It can’t be”, he thought. “did she say she never wants to see me again? How can that be possible? It simply can’t be”, he decided. “But it is true. She is going to marry a Brahmin boy.”, he realised. He felt like a gong had hit him in the head. His head reeled. He could hear a loud clanging in his ears. Deafening.

“What was there to live for now”, he thought desperately, perspiration breaking out on his forehead. He felt like he was in a vacuum, falling down, flailing for something to cling on to. “How can life go on? What life is there anymore?”. He sat there, collapsed against the wall till dark. Then, he made his way up, walking to his motor-bike. He mounted his bike and noticed his hands shaking violently. He dismounted and wheeled his motor-bike home.

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Meenakshi returned home at 6 pm. She went up to her room. She half-closed her door, switched off the light and sat on her bed with her back against the wall. She drew her legs close to her, hugging them close to her chest. She had exhausted her tears, she didn’t feel anything anymore. Aimlessly, she stared ahead. In this position, she stayed for close to five hours.

At 10:57 pm, Aishwarya called her on her mobile phone. Meenakshi picked it up. “Hi Meenakshi”, Aishwarya said cheerfully. “Hi”, responded Meenakshi in a dull monotone. “Listen Meenakshi, I called to ask what the matter is”, said Aishwarya. A pause. “You picked the right time to call”, murmered Meenakshi. “There isn’t a problem anymore. I can tell you everything”. Episode by episode, she narrated everything, Aishwarya listening avidly. “…and so today, I told him we can never see each other again”, she ended bravely. Talking about it had made her feel better. Aishwarya picked her words carefully. “I’m proud of you. You did the right thing. Your father’s wishes are definitely more important”, said Aishwarya. “Definitely”, responded Meenakshi. “I’m sure this Brahmin boy will take good care of you”, continued Aishwarya. “I’m sure he will”, replied Meenakshi. “…and you’ll live happily ever after!”, concluded Aishwarya cheerily. A long pause. “Meenakshi?”, called Aishwarya. “…but Aish, what about Philip?”, she burst out, her voice acquiring a controlled passion. “It is him that I love, him that is a part of me, him that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Nobody else even comes close. Don’t you understand?” Pause. “I do”, answered Aishwarya. “It’s no use talking about it now. You should go and sleep now, I’ll call tomorrow morning. Goodnight”. “Goodnight”, sighed Meenakshi, switching the phone off and collapsing into bed.

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It was past midnight and Dr. Narayan was pacing up and down the living room. “Could there be something to it?”, he kept muttering to himself, “could there actually be something to it?.”

Since Meenakshi had left her door half-open, he had inadvertently heard Meenakshi’s side of her conversation with Aishwarya. For the past 3 days, he had watched with concern at his daughter’s deteriorating physical appearance. She seemed distraught, torn; it pained him. But his will had held firm. He wasn’t going to change his plans. Until today. A phrase that Meenakshi had said kept echoing in his mind. “…it is him that I love”, she had said, “nobody else even comes close, don’t you understand?”. It had pierced him. There had been a seething, primal sincerity in her voice. For an instant, he had been able to see clearly the strength, the power, the beauty of her relationship with Philip. He didn’t know what to think of it, how to react to it.

Or had he just been carried away? Was it just the passion of infatuation as he had always suspected?

For many years, Dr. Narayan had been in control of life. For long, he had not questioned his paradigms, his beliefs, his assumptions – he had not had reason to. Now, he found himself groping, confused, for the first time in a long time. He found it uncomfortable, loathsome even – he didn’t like not knowing what to do. But, he knew he had to deal with it.

He loved his daughter dearly, she was his pride and joy. He only wanted what was best for her. He thought he knew what was best for her, but in this case, did he? Or did she know better?

“Could there be something to it?”, he muttered under his breath, “could there actually be something to it?.”

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